totally WASN'T trying to look up Cindy Patterson's dress

Monday

I ended up in detention again today at school, but it wasn't my fault.

Really! It was a big misunderstanding on the teacher's part, but I can see how he thought I was trying to look up Cindy Patterson's dress.

I TOTALLY WASN'T, but I'm just saying I can see how he might've thought that.

Boogie and I sit next to each other in math class and were having a little disagreement over whether Darth Vader or Professor Xavier would win in a fight.

It's pretty obvious that Darth Vader would win, but Boogie kept insisting Professor X would.

I like the X-Men a lot, and Professor X is pretty cool for an old guy, but there's no way he's more powerful than Darth Vader. I mean, come on... Darth Vader is a Jedi, and he's got the WHOLE power of the Dark Side. That totally trumps Professor Xavier's mind powers.

Anyway, Boogie and I were writing and doodling back and forth on a piece of paper as obviously you can't have a serious debate like this out loud in math class. Mr. Sorenson would get mad cause all the kids would be more interested in Darth Vader vs Professor X than in the math lesson.

I'd just finished drawing a pretty awesome picture of Darth Vader's hand using the Force to shove Professor X's wheelchair like a million miles away and was passing the paper back to Boogie to show him when it fell on the floor.

It floated a bit and landed underneath the table behind ours, right in front of Cindy Patterson's feet.

The good thing was that Cindy hadn't noticed because I had to get that paper back. Not just because there was a lot of cool drawings on it, but because Mr. Sorenson would probably send us both to detention if he saw we were passing notes in class and not paying attention to his lesson.

Of course, I ended up in detention anyways, but now you can see I was only trying to get our paper back, not trying to look up Cindy Patterson's skirt which is what the teacher thought when he saw me crawling on the floor in front of Cindy Patterson's feet.

The good thing is all the guys thought it was pretty funny so my cool level is probably pretty high right now around the school. Hopefully it hasn't hurt my likeability level with the girls, but I'm not sure. Cindy Patterson was pretty mad, and the girls sitting with her didn't seem too impressed either.

It wasn't until I got down to the detention room that I realized I had the perfect argument to answer Mr. Sorenson's accusation that I was trying to look up Cindy Patterson's skirt.

Cindy wasn't wearing a skirt. She was wearing jeans.

Unfortunately, I realized at that point that it was too late to try to point this out to Mr. Sorenson, so I just found a seat in detention and stared at the clock like all the other kids were doing.

After detention was over, I drew this helpful illustration for Mr. Sorenson showing the difference between jeans and a skirt.  I think I'll give it to him tomorrow at the beginning of math class.

forced to watch GLEE

Friday

I was forced to watch GLEE last night. My sister insisted on watching it, and we only have one tv in the family room so we all have to watch the same tv show.

I've been asking for my own tv for years now, but Mom says one tv is more than enough mental debilitation for all of us. I'm not really sure what she means by that, but it sounds kinda cool so I don't know what the problem is.

My sister is crazy about this GLEE show so we all get forced to watch it every Thursday night when it's on. I guess I can see why she likes it. It's kind of a girlie show with lots of singing, talk about clothes, and romance stuff.

I can sorta see why the guys in the show are doing the GLEE club thing. They probably figured out it was a great way to meet girls and score some bonus points for being in touch with their emotions and all that.

We don't have a GLEE club at school, or I might just try it out myself. A guy's got to do everything he can these days to get in good with the ladies. It's a romantic jungle out there!

Since I had to watch GLEE anyways, I decided to draw some sketches of some of the main characters.  I've labelled them for those of you that haven't seen the show.

This is Coach Sue.  She's totally not hot, but she's really good at being mean in a funny kind of way that makes you laugh.

This is Mr. Schue.  He's the teacher that runs GLEE club.  He's a bit of a nerd, but then he seems to do quite well with the ladies so it's good to know there's hope for all of us.

Related diary entries...

Justin Bieber on GLEE

the great variety store door incident

Wednesday

Today in class I was daydreaming, remembering the time we tied the door shut on the variety store by Boogie's house.

The owner was a really nasty guy who used to yell at all the kids and follow us around the store glaring at us. He used to go off on rants about how “we were all little thieves” and how “in his country we'd get our hands chopped off for stealing”.

I always thought it was a really bad way to treat your best customers.

Us kids probably made up more than half of his business since we were there every day on the way to school, coming home from school, at lunch time, and even after dinner sometimes.

If I had've saved all my allowance money that I've spent in his store, I'd probably be a multi-billionaire now hanging out with Bill Gates and Warren Buffett (Warren Buffett is this SUPER RICH guy my Dad is always going on about).

Anyway, me and Boogie got really tired of him hassling us all the time so we came up with a plan to get him back.

(Everyone says I'm wicked awesome at drawing.  Don't worry though, if you practice really hard, you can probably be as good as me someday too.)

We found some wire in the dumpster at school, the kind that they use for cords on lamps and stuff. We tied it really tight to the bike rack around the corner of the store, and then Boogie crawled along the sidewalk in front of the store so that the owner wouldn't see him, just like the Navy Seals do.

We'd tied a slip knot in the end of the wire and made sure it was secure. Once Boogie made it to the door, he reached up and slipped it over the door handle and pulled it tight. That was my cue to pull the wire as tight as I could by wrapping it around where we'd tied it off at the other end.

I signalled Boogie when it was as tight as I could get it, and Boogie jumped up in front of the door.

The owner was busy following some little kids around, so Boogie banged on the door to get his attention. I was impressed with how loud Boogie was able to bang. He was using his palms, hands wide open, and it was REALLY LOUD! He was making faces too, which combined with the banging, had the desired effect.

The owner spun around when he heard the noise, saw Boogie making faces at him while banging away on the door, and ran straight at the door, which is exactly what we'd hoped he would do.

Boogie jumped back a couple feet and continued making faces.

The owner hit the door at a run, hands in front of him, thinking he was gonig to burst out of the store after Boogie.

What actually happened was that the wire held firm, the door didn't budge, and the owner went flying backwards, crashed into a display of pop and chips, and landed on his butt.

It was definetely one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Boogie and I were rolling on the ground laughing with tears falling down our cheeks.

The owner had got back up and was screaming at us while frantically trying to get the door open, which of course made us laugh even harder. We waved back at him, made a few more faces, and then decided we'd better get going before he remembered he could get out through the door in the back of the store.

We laughed all the way back to Boogie's house, and we still get into fits of uncontrollable laughter whenever we talk about it, which is kinda what got me in trouble in class today.

I forgot where I was while I was remembering “the great variety store door incident” and burst out laughing remembering the store owner's face when he landed on his butt in a pile of pop and chips.

I guess I was laughing pretty loud, cause the teacher yelling at me interrupted my train of thought and I suddenly realized the whole class was staring at me and the teacher was going on about me being disruptive for the last time and I should go to the detention room right NOW!